courtney.

Month

September 2010

29 posts

I guess you mean a lot....

Have you ever had a dream that really effected you once you were awake? Yes? Did this effect last a few days? Because if so, I’m right there with you. 

image

This is Jon. Most of my blog followers and friends know him, at least OF him. He’s without a doubt one of my best friends and someone I miss dearly on a daily basis. Why? He lives in London. We met four years ago at a summer camp we both worked at. We talk pretty regularly and we try to see each other a few times a year. 

I have not gotten to talk to him much over the past couple months because I’ve been so busy and he has been traveling with work and has a girlfriend that lives in Holland. Skyping and FB have somewhat taken a back seat. And I think it sucks but I did not realize how much not speaking with him for months effected me.

This past Sunday I had THE WORST dream I have ever had in my life. And it was totally out of left field. [Mind you: you cannot control what you dream, obviously] But anywho, my dream was that Jon died. And normally when you dream about someone else dying or yourself dying you wake just before they officially pass. Not in this dream. Jon’s brother Tom called me and told me Jon had died. I don’t know how but clearly that was not important. I jumped on a plane and flew to England. And I went through the motions…..the wake…..the funeral….the funeral reception…and the only thing I remember after that was that I cried. I cried all day every day. I cried because my best friend was gone. I could never tell him or talk to him about anything ever again. And when I woke up I was scared to death [no pun intended] because it was one of those dreams that felt so incredibly real. I touched my face thinking it’d be tear soaked. But no, I came to and realized it was a dream. Just a horrifying, excruciating dream. I tried going back to sleep but I slipped back into it. 

And what’s worse than this is that it is still getting to me. I still feel uncomfortable about it. And so incredibly anxious to talk to him. I wrote him but nothing as of yet….

So Jon Steward Moore, I miss you and love you.
[talk.to.you.soon.] 

Aug 31, 2010

August 2010

13 posts

Aug 31, 2010
Aug 25, 2010
It's a bittersweet symphony

‘Back to school’ always make me think about the fall….and with the start of classes today it most certainly feels like summer has come to an end. It is chilly, damp and windy. So I’m sitting here thinking about how AMAZING my summer was…and even though there were some points where I thought life couldn’t get any worse, I was so fortunate to have undoubtedly one of the best summers of my life. And here’s why…

-I went camping in North Carolina
-I met Joey Logano
-Joey Logano remembered me two days after we met!
-I saw Brad Paisley in concert
-I saw Justin Moore in concert
-I SAW LUKE BRYAN IN CONCERT  [ahhhhhh!]
-I sat in a Camero
-Performed on-stage with Comedian Becky Donohue!
-I saw my best friend Kyle Rose
-I went to the beach TWICE!
-I spent time with my favorite Irish girl: Kate
-I met 14 new friends with hearts & souls as pure as gold.
-I saw two NASCAR races LIVE!
-I spent time with my aunts and uncles and cousins.
-I impacted 124 first year students in a positive way
-I grew close to several friends: new and old
-I overcame fears
-I finished two books that weren’t required reading.
-I had loads of Ben & Jerry’s :)

This summer was beautiful. It’s over and I’m back to more serious things but dang, I’m sure glad it all happened. I wouldn’t change a thing about the past three months. Perfect. Simply perfect.  

Aug 23, 2010
Aug 22, 2010
Aug 8, 2010
Day 16-

Another picture of yourself:

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C’est moi :) [Taken in my house in Ireland]

Aug 5, 2010
Aug 3, 2010
Day 15-

Put your iPod on shuffle and list the first ten songs:

1- “Heads Carolina, Tails California” Jo Dee Messina
2- “LDN” Lily Allen
3- “Too Good To Be” New Found Glory
4- “Prayin’ for Daylight” Rascal Flatts
5- “Thinking of You” Hanson
6- “Fall For Anything” The Script
7- “I Must Be Dreaming” The Maine
8- “Come ‘Round Soon” Sara Bareilles
9- “This Song is Definitely Not About A Girl” Set Your Goals 
10- “Catch All The Fish” Brad Paisley 

Aug 3, 2010
Aug 2, 2010
Aug 2, 2010
“there is a painful difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event and its final certainty.”

[Sense&Sensibility] 

Aug 1, 2010
'Day' 13

So once again I am behind on my daily posts. Oh well, it will more than likely continue so I’ll just continue to go in order and post them when I cant.

So “day 13”: a letter to someone who has hurt you. [I am going to keep this letter brief because, well, there is no reason for it to be lengthy.]

Dear _______,
I cannot for the life of me figure out, nor do I think ever will, what can posses a person to leave their own flesh and blood. And you know what, I am completely over it. I honestly am. If I was to never see you again, I would be okay with that. I have flourished into a strong, passionate, hard working individual and it was all without you. I am a firm believer that if someone cared enough about me they would put the effort in to uphold a relationship with me. And I understand that not everyone is going to love me and that is ok. If you don;t believe I’m with the initiative then thats alright, YOUR loss. You’re clearly a dead-beat so I’m not missing out on anything. I am great without you. I’ve been great without you and I will continue to be okay without you. All we have in common at this point is the knowledge that each of us exist. We live seperate lives. Our roads should not cross again. You know I’m alive. I know you’re alive. And that is the extent of it. So I guess I should thank you for leaving— It’s made me a pretty amazing person in my opinon. I’m the lucky one.

Sincerely,
Courtney

Aug 1, 2010
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